So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
