A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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