Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
