well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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