I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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