Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my shit smells like andre
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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