and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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