Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
