Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
