Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
