she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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