his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
