remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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