he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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