I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
