i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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