i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
