Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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