It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We're too hungover to prance.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
