He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
