Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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