Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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