Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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