Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
