So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i think i just lost a toe
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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