i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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