Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
