She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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