we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
