Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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