i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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