There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
