We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize