She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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