I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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