Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
