is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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