is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.