Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
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Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
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I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.