Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
