I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
