whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
