You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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