I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
