Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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