Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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