I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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