I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
