i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
