i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
