I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
