hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
