marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
