This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize