Swine flu. Run for my life!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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