Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
