Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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