I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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