your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
3 2 1 whiskey
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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