I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
