i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
